Smile.

Smile is one of the best asset that each and everyone can have. It gives you a perfect aura as an individual. It makes everybody feel like "confused" of what is really behind that smile. We smile for some numerous reasons. Maybe we are just very happy on a particular moment, and as we go on with our day, we still reminisce of what makes us happy. A smile can give millions, billions, and even zillions, of energy. Even if we had a very long day; home works, office works, busy school, and all the common things that we usually do, a smile, then, can attest you that it will work things out. Why frown when in fact a natural smile can make you feel at ease. There is nothing to be sad of. Problems will always be there. We suffer. We lose the one we love. Or even fail one or two subjects in school. It is normal. It runs natural. And you can't do about it. Life won't always be very plain, it will only end up so boring. Life has this bitterness, and betterness. In my case, I felt bitterness when someone broke my heart. But, after taking the process of moving on, I, then, realized that it doesn't help. Acceptance is what makes you feel better. If you think that life is not fair. Well, let us make it fair. Fight for life. Fight for your happiness. And always learn to smile. 

Today, I joined a seminar in our school. It was a communicators forum. So, all the communicator students are gathered to witness the event. This is not just an event, but it is part of our subject. Exclusive for the 3rd year students of BS Technology Communication Management students only. The program started at around 1pm. Then, speakers were introduced. There are three speakers, and each one of them has their own expertise. First speaker talks about the weather transmission, if I am not mistaken. Second speaker focused on broadcasting. Third speaker deals with broadband technology. Their expertise is hooked with the course that we are taking up, and they are really a big help in our achievements in life. With just a small talk, we get lots of new ideas from them. While I was listening to the speakers, I was like reminiscing of what had happened during the Sibya 2012. It was also a forum; 1st Northern Mindanao Students Communicators Congress. And professional journalists were invited as speakers. Whenever I've got a chance to witness some forum, I would really miss Maria Ressa, Patricia Evangelista, Josh Villanueva, && Chay Hofilena.  They are the best speakers, and superb journalists. 

I am so proud, because I was able to meet amazing people, like them. And they are the best inspiration, especially to those students who are interested of being part in the journalism.

Now, going back to the fresh event; communicators forum. I still enjoyed the event. It is so educational. They talked randomly. While I was listening, and hearing all of their topics, I was like going crazy. I keep on smiling. And laughing. I conclude that this day, March 2, 2012 is a very smiling day. (hahaha) As if I have no burdens. I love seeing lots of people. My friends. Ex-friends. New friends. And my "ex." It is not because I saw HIM, but it is just being so creepy. Yeah. I admit, I missed him. We haven't teased each other for so long. I miss him. Get it? Again it is just normal. We all miss numerous people. A natural feeling. And I am not defensive. Okay? (hahahaha) I was just so happy. Seriously. I love the way he smile. I miss seeing his teeth whenever he laugh so hard. I am serious. (hahaha) I miss laughing with him. How I wish I could laugh with him. Tease. And. Smile in front of him. 

Admittedly, he is also a part of my happiness this day; and the smile ofcourse. And I am so thankful that I really had a huge smile. Super like smile. Thank you Lord. :)

"Smile. It confuses people."

A walk to remember.

I LOVE YOU Jamie && Landon :)

A walk to remember, is an amazing movie. It shows that whatever may happen, love will still keep both alive. The death of "Jamie", (Mandy Moore) is like also the last breath of Landon. It is like "till death do us part." How I wish all guys would be like Landon. Treasure every moment, seconds, minutes, and even a single day with their special someone. We don't know what will happen in the succeeding days. And we should not blame anyone, especially God.

*Acceptance is the core value in this movie :)

Does it? :)

 Does it really conquers all?

**I still believe on that cliche. Trying to believe in it.

February 26, 2012 - Sunday Evening ..

That was just an ordinary day. Nothing is new, except for another life. Sunday morning, I woke up not so early, eat my breakfast, took a shower, stayed at my room, and continued with my heavy projects. Being a student is so boring. It gets on my nerves. You always get pressure. Especially on your tertiary level. Things are like in a hurry. Do this. Do that. For the sake of your grades. Seriously. I am so damn pressured. There is nothing new, nothing. It gets boring, since the day he broke my heart.

What is with Sunday evening? Again. It is just an ordinary day. I got bored in facing my laptop, and my internet connection pissed me off. It gets slower. Crap. As an ordinary brokenhearted young lady, I am so tied up with the one who broke my lovable heart. I missed him. I cried. I did the “group messaging”, informing all the people that is in my contacts (except him) that I am very sad. Again. Sad. And there is this countable replies, asking me if what makes me sad. I didn’t answer all of them. I only chose those close to me. And again, they comforted me. Which is another boring thing. Is there another way or new way to comfort me? Hays.

Moving on is never easy. It is a super-long-process. Up until now, I am still on that process. I keep on denying that I am already okay, but still can’t avoid to think of him. The last time I cried was during our MUST-Days, that was February 11, 2012, not sure of it. I gave up. It was a very long wait to really breakdown. And I did it on that day. I cried like a child that was lost, and can’t get over of being lost. My friends got worried, and they hugged me. I stopped. Laughed at myself. And continued at home. I am lost. Very lost. And I screw that guy for leaving me. Look! I can’t find my way back home.
I am out of words. PERIOD.

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU. ♥

              In life, we are bound to love and be loved. We always feel the essence of happiness if there is someone whom we can talk to, share our burdens, smile, and laugh with. That is just a small amount of our happiness. Life, then, is not just about happiness. It would be so boring if we are stuck into such thing. God is twisting our lives in order for us to learn something from our misdoings, and/or, broken wounds (I meant hearts) that is if you have already been broke by someone. I must say this; I am not blaming God for our sufferings, it is just the reality. We are not ignorant about what He wants in our lives. And I know, he loves to make sure that things, and those people who are coming our way, will really give us the true happiness. 

              I was once a victim of broken-wounded-heart. This is the most “IN’ thing nowadays. Right? Like someone would really MEAN to hurt you, and, broke you. It is trending. Normal. And. Natural. If you still haven’t experience such painful thing, lucky you. BUT, I am telling you, that would surely come your way. Not just me, not just them, but ALL of us would really feel being broke, and left behind. When you revolved your whole world to someone, and with just one snap of a finger, he’ll left you and would say that he felt no love at all, that for sure would kill you. And you have no choice but to let him go, simply because he is BEGGING you to set him free. Whatever you do, whatever you say, if he would really beg, the choice will always be a choice. Let go. Set free. Pain. Suffer. Die. It is really, really, painful. It is more painful than someone who punched your face, or more painful than your mom’s slap on your face. Really, life is so amazing. I should say. Sometimes I am blaming myself, which is no good. It won’t make sense. It can’t help. Blaming cannot help. 

              February 25, 2012. This is supposedly our 2nd-year-anniversary. But, unfortunately, we haven’t come that far. I tried letting go of that memorable date, and month. But, we all have memories (unless if you have a memory gap). I also tried forgetting about HIM, but again, I have an amazing memory. And we are just in the same school, department, and course. So, who could really forget that man? Even if you would say, “go with the flow, you have no choice”, still I can’t help but reminisce. So, let’s go back to Feb. 25, this year. I was never expecting that I’d be able to remember it. To think that I am so busy in school. And finals is fast-approaching. Projects are so heavy. It is like a one-sack of rice. Very heavy. I just remembered it, because I felt like I am so alone on that day. And when I’ve got the chance to face the calendar, I was kinda, “shit! adlaw UNTA namu karon!”. I feel like crying. So, I took a shower, dress up, and stayed at Bo’s Coffee, with my dear friends. I stayed in the city for almost 7hours, I guess. And I get back home after. At night, my mind is in pain. I kept on thinking about our 1st year anniversary. The surprises. Foods. And gifts. Though I still have all the gifts, I really kept it. One, the pictures that was given by his mom. It’s in my favorite box, together with my Nail Polish. Second, the CD, that contains the video, which He seriously made. I just put it in my drawer, together with my underwears. (hahaha) Third, the bouquet. I have three petals. But, I haven’t checked if it’s still there. It was in my notebook. I hope it’s still alive. Fourth, the stuff that I love, Winnie the Pooh. He’s in my cabinet. And he’s already 1-year old. Thank God, he survived. Fifth, high-ridge. I can’t have it on my hands. Seriously. I miss the aura of the place. I miss it. (teary-eyed) I wanna go back there, but I just can’t. I may jump-off in the barricades. And roll on the grasses, and DIE. And lastly, I miss being with him. The best gift that God gave me last year was HIM. He made me so happy. He broke my heart. He left me hangin’. He changed me. And I loved him. Up until now. And if he doesn’t bother about how I feel, then, I can’t do anything, but to cry.

              Few weeks ago, I was out of my mind. Every night, I am crying. And there is no other reason behind my tears. You can’t blame me for being so weak. It runs natural when you are dying to have him back, but that would only be in your dreams. I can’t cry in front of him, begged, and kneel-down. I won’t go down on that level. I still have my dignity. Yes. I miss him everyday. I wanna hug him whenever we saw each other around the campus. But, I am just an ordinary girl, who loves to keep a burden. I don’t show what I feel. Except if I really wanted to breakdown in front of many people. Teachers, classmates, or whatsoever, if crying comes my way then I won’t stop it. I love to cry. And this is not just for babies, or little kids. If a young lady cried, that doesn’t mean she’s a like a baby/kid. It is part of releasing your heartaches. Burdens. Pains. And a lot more. Name it. Crying is the best medicine. 

              Now, July 25, 2012, is almost there. I still consider that day as memorable, because that was the moment when we broke up. And his cousin once told me, that maybe I just let him go due to emotions. I never wanted him to leave. It is so crazy. Life is crazy. :( My mind is bugging me, like “why did I let go?”, and again, He asked for it. I insisted not to, but you just can’t force him to stay if he feels like kicking his butt off. He hates seeing me crying. He still have his conscience though. I guess, guys really hate to see a girl crying. Their conscience might bug them. And they might force themselves to continue, though they wouldn’t like to. And that is unfair. You are just adding up on the pain. Just so you know. 

I am tired. 

Tired of thinking what to type.

Tired of typing.

Tired. 

So tired of life.

Does that guy missed me? or I’d rather go to bed, lay down, sleep, and dream that He missed me. 

Don’t mind me. I am just so weird.

I just always remember him. :)

L.O.V.E.

http://bible-truth.org/msg38.html

A. LOVE IS PATIENT. V4 (Long suffering) Even when you feel like forcefully expressing yourself. Love bears pain or trails without complaint, shows forbearance under provocation or strain, and is steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity.

B. LOVE IS KIND. V4 Even when you want to retaliate physically or tear down another with your words. Love is sympathetic, considerate, gentle and agreeable.

C. LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS. V4 (envieth not) Especially when you are aware that others are being noticed more than you. Love does not participate in rivalry, is not hostile toward one believed to enjoy an advantage, and is not suspicious. Love works for the welfare and good of the other.

D. LOVE DOES NOT BRAG. V4 (vaunteth not itself) Even when you want to tell the world about your accomplishments. Love does not flaunt itself boastfully and does not engage in self-glorification. Instead, love lifts and builds up others.

E. LOVE IS NOT ARROGANT. V4 (is not puffed up) Even when you think you are right and others are wrong. Love does not assert itself or become overbearing in dealing with others.

F. LOVE IS DOES NOT ACT UNBECOMINGLY. V5 (Does not behave seemly) Even when being boastful, rude or overbearing will get you attention and allow you to get your own way. Love conforms to what is right, fitting and appropriate to the situation in order to honor the Lord.

G. LOVE DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN. V5 Biblical love is not selfish and self seeking. True Love does not try to fulfill its own desires, does not ask for its own way, and does not try to acquire gain for itself. Love, is an act of the will which seeks to serve and not be served.

H. LOVE IS NOT PROVOKED. V5 Even when others attempt to provoke you or you are tempted to strike out at something or someone. Love is not aroused or incited to outbursts of anger. Love continues faithfully and gently to train others in righteousness, even when they fail.

I. LOVE DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT A WRONG SUFFERED. V5 (thinketh no evil) Even when everyone seems to be against you or when people openly attack you. Love does not hold a grudge against someone. Love forgives, chooses not to bring up past wrongs in accusation or retaliation, does not return evil for evil, and does not indulge in self pity. Love covers a multitude of sins.

J. LOVE DOES NOT REJOICE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS. V6 (rejoiceth not in iniquity) Even when it seems like a misfortune was exactly what another person deserved. Love mourns over sin, its effects and the pain which results from living in a fallen world. Love seeks to reconcile others with the Lord.

K. LOVE REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. V6 Even when it is easier and more profitable materially to lie. Love is joyful when truth is known, even when it may lead to adverse circumstances, reviling and persecution.

L. LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS. V7 Even when disappointments seem overwhelming. Love is tolerant, endures with others who are difficult to understand or deal with, and has an eternal perspective in difficulties. Love remembers that God develops spiritual maturity through difficult circumstances.

M. LOVE BELIEVES ALL THINGS. V7 Even when other's actions are ambiguous and you feel like not trusting anyone. Love accepts trustfully, does not judge people's motives, and believes others until facts prove otherwise. Even when facts prove that the other person is untrustworthy, love seeks to help restore the other to trustworthiness.

N. LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS. V7 Even when nothing appears to be going right. Love expects fulfillment of God's plan and anticipates the best for the other person. Love confidently entrusts others to the Lord to do His sovereign and perfect will in their lives.

O. LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS. V7 This is one of the hardest to practice. Especially when you think you just can't endure the people or circumstances in your life. Love remains steadfast under suffering or hardship without yielding and returns good while undergoing trials.

P. LOVE NEVER FAILS. V8 Even when you feel overwhelmed and the situation seems hopeless. Love will not crumble under pressure or difficulties. Love remains selflessly faithful even to the point of death.

** Love has a lot of definition. And this one is the best, aside from being so biblical, it also gives an idea to really be TRUE in loving someone.

Make the most out of it. :)

Love. Love. LOVE.

 "pag sinabi kong mahal kita, yan ay totoo sinta. Wag na wag kang mag du-duda."

 When you love someone make sure that it will last forever. Don't rely on the saying, "Nothing lasts forever". Yes. We are just living temporarily in this superb world. But, you can make the best out of that temporariness. I appreciate this video because it gives the whole package of what really love is. Yeng Constantino, amazed me. Very much. Of all her videos, I guess this is the best that I have ever seen, and heard.

To those inlove, broken-hearted, and feeling inlove, you gotta listen to this. It won't make you bored. 

Be happy. Be budoy. :)