I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU. ♥

              In life, we are bound to love and be loved. We always feel the essence of happiness if there is someone whom we can talk to, share our burdens, smile, and laugh with. That is just a small amount of our happiness. Life, then, is not just about happiness. It would be so boring if we are stuck into such thing. God is twisting our lives in order for us to learn something from our misdoings, and/or, broken wounds (I meant hearts) that is if you have already been broke by someone. I must say this; I am not blaming God for our sufferings, it is just the reality. We are not ignorant about what He wants in our lives. And I know, he loves to make sure that things, and those people who are coming our way, will really give us the true happiness. 

              I was once a victim of broken-wounded-heart. This is the most “IN’ thing nowadays. Right? Like someone would really MEAN to hurt you, and, broke you. It is trending. Normal. And. Natural. If you still haven’t experience such painful thing, lucky you. BUT, I am telling you, that would surely come your way. Not just me, not just them, but ALL of us would really feel being broke, and left behind. When you revolved your whole world to someone, and with just one snap of a finger, he’ll left you and would say that he felt no love at all, that for sure would kill you. And you have no choice but to let him go, simply because he is BEGGING you to set him free. Whatever you do, whatever you say, if he would really beg, the choice will always be a choice. Let go. Set free. Pain. Suffer. Die. It is really, really, painful. It is more painful than someone who punched your face, or more painful than your mom’s slap on your face. Really, life is so amazing. I should say. Sometimes I am blaming myself, which is no good. It won’t make sense. It can’t help. Blaming cannot help. 

              February 25, 2012. This is supposedly our 2nd-year-anniversary. But, unfortunately, we haven’t come that far. I tried letting go of that memorable date, and month. But, we all have memories (unless if you have a memory gap). I also tried forgetting about HIM, but again, I have an amazing memory. And we are just in the same school, department, and course. So, who could really forget that man? Even if you would say, “go with the flow, you have no choice”, still I can’t help but reminisce. So, let’s go back to Feb. 25, this year. I was never expecting that I’d be able to remember it. To think that I am so busy in school. And finals is fast-approaching. Projects are so heavy. It is like a one-sack of rice. Very heavy. I just remembered it, because I felt like I am so alone on that day. And when I’ve got the chance to face the calendar, I was kinda, “shit! adlaw UNTA namu karon!”. I feel like crying. So, I took a shower, dress up, and stayed at Bo’s Coffee, with my dear friends. I stayed in the city for almost 7hours, I guess. And I get back home after. At night, my mind is in pain. I kept on thinking about our 1st year anniversary. The surprises. Foods. And gifts. Though I still have all the gifts, I really kept it. One, the pictures that was given by his mom. It’s in my favorite box, together with my Nail Polish. Second, the CD, that contains the video, which He seriously made. I just put it in my drawer, together with my underwears. (hahaha) Third, the bouquet. I have three petals. But, I haven’t checked if it’s still there. It was in my notebook. I hope it’s still alive. Fourth, the stuff that I love, Winnie the Pooh. He’s in my cabinet. And he’s already 1-year old. Thank God, he survived. Fifth, high-ridge. I can’t have it on my hands. Seriously. I miss the aura of the place. I miss it. (teary-eyed) I wanna go back there, but I just can’t. I may jump-off in the barricades. And roll on the grasses, and DIE. And lastly, I miss being with him. The best gift that God gave me last year was HIM. He made me so happy. He broke my heart. He left me hangin’. He changed me. And I loved him. Up until now. And if he doesn’t bother about how I feel, then, I can’t do anything, but to cry.

              Few weeks ago, I was out of my mind. Every night, I am crying. And there is no other reason behind my tears. You can’t blame me for being so weak. It runs natural when you are dying to have him back, but that would only be in your dreams. I can’t cry in front of him, begged, and kneel-down. I won’t go down on that level. I still have my dignity. Yes. I miss him everyday. I wanna hug him whenever we saw each other around the campus. But, I am just an ordinary girl, who loves to keep a burden. I don’t show what I feel. Except if I really wanted to breakdown in front of many people. Teachers, classmates, or whatsoever, if crying comes my way then I won’t stop it. I love to cry. And this is not just for babies, or little kids. If a young lady cried, that doesn’t mean she’s a like a baby/kid. It is part of releasing your heartaches. Burdens. Pains. And a lot more. Name it. Crying is the best medicine. 

              Now, July 25, 2012, is almost there. I still consider that day as memorable, because that was the moment when we broke up. And his cousin once told me, that maybe I just let him go due to emotions. I never wanted him to leave. It is so crazy. Life is crazy. :( My mind is bugging me, like “why did I let go?”, and again, He asked for it. I insisted not to, but you just can’t force him to stay if he feels like kicking his butt off. He hates seeing me crying. He still have his conscience though. I guess, guys really hate to see a girl crying. Their conscience might bug them. And they might force themselves to continue, though they wouldn’t like to. And that is unfair. You are just adding up on the pain. Just so you know. 

I am tired. 

Tired of thinking what to type.

Tired of typing.

Tired. 

So tired of life.

Does that guy missed me? or I’d rather go to bed, lay down, sleep, and dream that He missed me. 

Don’t mind me. I am just so weird.

I just always remember him. :)